Zachary David Tennyson

Zachary David Tennyson was born Dec. 31, 1985, in Blytheville. He died December 4, 2023, in Columbia, Mo., having made his home with the rest of his family in Columbia for 10 years. Although he was aged 37 years, he claimed he was much younger, as his birthdays had obviously been “stolen by Christmas and New Years Eve” every year of his life. On his birthday, you might find Zach in some corner of the house, surly and steamed over such an indignity, this misalignment of stars that caused him to be born on such a day. However, during the other 364 days of the year, Zach was by all accounts wonderfully good-natured. He was also a remarkably precocious child who, despite the efforts of his older brothers to knock him silly, became something of a marvel in both intelligence and wit. He took delight in confounding his teachers at every turn, and many claimed he was one of the sharpest students they’d ever had the misfortune to teach. He also took a great variety of classes from several institutions of higher learning, eventually earning a degree mostly to please his grandmother, Robbie Sue Glover. He could recall every Star Trek episode ever produced from beginning to end. And there was no reason to ever use Google when Zach was around. He perpetually found himself on the receiving end of phoning a friend for obscure bits of trivia and somehow seemed to know everything about absolutely everything. Born into a newspaper family, he was reared to quickly root out the truth of a situation and deliver it with flair, and it is in this vein we’ve decided to remember his last days.

His laughter is what we will remember most about our Zachary. His ability to briefly hit the pause button on the small dramas of life and instead highlight the hilarity and absurdity of situations for his friends and family was a gift to us all. Like many of life’s gifts, it almost goes unnoticed until we feel the sharp sting of its absence, as we are feeling now. He was able to bring levity to those who loved him even in the direst of times. Life can be confusing for all of us, and sometimes it’s our family members that are key landmarks for when the map looks dark, holding lanterns to help us along. And we must admit we are feeling a little lost now without him. It is indeed difficult for us to find the truth of a matter without Zachary to guide us. However, as memory serves, Zach would hit the pause button for us in our grief and remind us that the truth of a situation can vary wildly depending on who’s doing the telling. So, in effort to find that truth, we’ve included several rumors we’ve heard that seem most likely and hit nearest the truth.

Zachary died at the hands of an angry Yakuza Gurentai/karaoke star in a dispute over misheard song lyrics. Zach thought he was making a joke (as we all know, it’s not “hold me closer, Tony Danza” after all), but as Zach was a C student at best in his Japanese language studies, the joke was lost in translation, and swords were drawn. Zach, forever jolly and an admirer of the absurd, could be heard laughing in dismay during the scuffle until the very end. Zach requests that no retribution be taken by his friends and online minions, as he could think of a no more fitting way to meet his end.

Or… An ardent admirer from the large Yeti population surrounding Columbia, unable to woo Zach, stole him away during the night. As he had secretly admitted to me in the past that he was truly enamored with the Yeti folk we can at least speculate that he is blissfully spending his days with his new family, learning the arts of Yeti husbandry and hair braiding.

Or… Always a lover of a little good ‘ol fashioned buffoonery, Zachary was tripped up by his voluminous beard while trekking the surrounding hills of Columbia and fell into a deep crevice in the Earth. While several spelunkers and adventurers were sent in, no remains could be discovered at the bottom of the chasm. Beware ye Mole people! There is a new one in your midst!

Life is a choose your own adventure story for us all, so feel free to take whichever of the above paths that gives you the most joy, as this would most please Zachary. Or just make up your own. There was no judgment in Zach, only laughter, so I’m sure he’d allow a little artistic interpretation here at the end.

Zach is survived by his grandmother, Robbie Sue Glover; his step-grandfather, Carl Glover; his aunt, Karen Tennyson; his two brothers, Jeff and Kit Tennyson; an honorary brother, Daniel Ashby; his sister-in-law, Molly Tennyson; his nephew, Lucas Tennyson; and his niece, Bo Tennyson.

Zach is preceded in death by his grandfather, R.C. Tennyson; his father, David Tennyson; his mother, Sandra Tennyson; and his aunt, Camille Poe.

Memorial services will include close friends and family, and his ashes will join those of his parents and his favorite dog in the Current River of Missouri. In lieu of flowers, please shore up your resources and be present to your loved ones. Causes closest to Zach’s heart included supporting music, art, film, comedy, and most anything done in the creative spirit. If you’d like to honor Zach in some way, consider supporting the arts.