So I took a highly technical poll from a large selection of the area's population, and came up with the definitive ranking of best Christmas songs. If you interpret "highly technical poll" and "large selection of the area's population" to mean the things that me and Zoe and my dogs like to dance to in the kitchen, then that last statement was true.
Anyway.
These are my favorite Christmas songs. I've noticed that as a general rule, whether or not I like holiday music has a lot to do with nostalgia -- therefore, if it's some kind of newfangled interpretation of a classic, I'm not going to like it. This makes me seem like I'm about 100 years old, but I simply am not interested in the latest boy band's remake of ... well, anything.
So here we go ...
You know, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire." It's my all-time favorite. I prefer the Nat King Cole original, but I'll sing along to just about anyone's version, as long as they haven't changed it too much. It's just so lovely and melodic, and really paints a picture. This song IS Christmas, I mean, look at the title. Duh. I also like that it doesn't have the traditional song structure of verse, chorus, verse ... it just kind of meanders along at it's own pace, like a lovely little poem. And if it's recorded full orchestra, with the strings playing in the background ... warm, fuzzy, holiday perfection.
This one calls for a few disclaimers. First of all, this isn't really about Christmas at all. It's less of a holiday song, more of a winter song, so feel free to blast it in January, or whatever. Never mentions Christmas once. What it does mention is some pretty questionable material, and basically tells the story of a guy trying to liquor a poor girl up until she drunkenly agrees to spend the night with him, even though her WHOLE family is apparently looking for her and the town is going to label her something awful in the morning, when she makes the walk of shame. So my second disclaimer is, I realize this isn't really family-friendly and the content is pretty awful. That being said -- it's just so darn CATCHY. And really fun to sing along with in the car. Basically my standards are low.
The Alabama classic. If you are a youngish person who grew up in the South, you HAD this album in your house as a kid. Really I should list that whole album here, because I am completely incapable of experiencing Christmas at all without listening to the whole thing through several times. Several times a day. Christmas in Dixie is my favorite track, mainly because of its "we don't need your fancy California high-falutin' holidays" vibe, also because of the phrase "snowing in the pines," which just does something for my soul. I don't even feel the need to explain Thistlehair the Christmas Bear, because that kind of genius just speaks for itself.
This is another one that never mentions Christmas at all, but still. It also falls into the category of "songs I love but can never remember the words to," which means that I like to sing along really loudly but I just kind of make up my own lyrics. It's fun, and it's describing an adventure in the snow, what's not to love?
Because I'm a child of the '90s and Mariah Carey will forever have a place in my heart. It's dramatic, very danceable, and I challenge you to find one girl growing up in 1994 who didn't sing it in front of her mirror with a hairbrush microphone. That is all.
------
I realize at this point in the list that I haven't included one sacred carol, which makes me a heathen and deserving of a scolding from my grandparents, at the very least. So in that category, I have to say my favorite is O Holy Night, which can either be really good or really bad, depending entirely on the talent of the performer.
A few thoughts that don't fit on the list: my least favorite Christmas song is The Little Drummer Boy. I mean, come on. There is just no artist who can record a non-annoying version of that song. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Also, no song that is part of the score of The Sound of Music should be sung at Christmas. It's just wrong, people.
Enjoy your slightly green and brown Christmas, my friends.
sharris@blythevillecourier.com