My wife is sick. She has pneumonia. We just found this out on Monday, but she's been sick for about a month. It's always a bummer when someone in the house is sick, and now that we have a child, we have to be extra careful whenever one of us gets sick.
Whenever Ashley is sick, I'm left to do the cooking, the cleaning, taking care of Caroline and whatever else happens. I don't mind really. I don't like cooking, but I'm not terrible at it. I'd actually sometimes rather throw dishes away than wash them, but still, I'm not afraid to throw on a pair of rubber gloves and dive in.
All of those things are manageable. The worst part of Ashley being sick is that I usually end up on the couch.
I want to be perfectly clear, I choose to sleep on the couch whenever Ashley's sick for a number of reasons, chief among those is making sure I don't end up sick. Still, it doesn't matter why I'm on the couch, what matters is that sleeping on the couch is awful.
We used to have these really cool looking leather couches. They had large, cozy cushions and were a little longer than most couches. When you're 6-feet-4-inches tall, a few extra inches on the end of the couch can make a huge difference.
As comfy as the leather couches were, they were equally as hot. Even in the winter, I'd end up melding to the surface, and in the summer, forget about it.
Recently though, we bought some new couches. The only way I can describe them is as something you might see on an episode of "I Love Lucy," but even that doesn't quite cut it. Anyhow, they're great for sitting and Caroline has actually started napping on the new couches (she now refuses to nap in her bed).
But these new couches are a little shorter and a little more narrow than the old couches. They're great for sitting, you know, the activity they were designed for. But not so great for a decent night's sleep.
The furniture isn't the only problem with sleeping in the living room. When I'm in the living room, I almost always get sucked into something on TV, and before I realize it, it's way past a reasonable time to go to sleep. I'm not trying to say I have a bedtime; I'm just saying I have a certain time when I like to go to bed, and if I'm in the living room, I'm likely to spend the whole night watching "Louie" or "The Big Bang Theory" or "Portlandia" or whatever else I can find.
Even if I happen to fall asleep, if the TV is still on, it's hard to stay asleep. We have a pretty good-sized TV, and when it's on, it lights up half the house, making sleep a little difficult. We've all had those nights where we're asleep but not really. You know you're asleep, but you also know that things are happening around you. It's that stage right before you slip into a deep REM sleep.
But I think the worst part, by far, is actually waking up in the living room. It doesn't matter what time it is, waking up that close to the kitchen often results in me actually getting up and grabbing a little snack (usually Goldfish crackers) every time I wake up.
This is quite ridiculous, I'm aware of that. My house isn't that big. The bedroom isn't that far from the kitchen. Why don't I do this any other night? Or why don't I just roll over and try to go back to sleep? I don't know. I don't know why I do what I do. What I do know is that Goldfish have the magical, almost life-altering taste at 3 a.m.
Hopefully, Ashley gets better soon and life can return to normal. Until then, if you see me and I'm a bit grumpy, don't take it personally. Just buy me a cup of coffee and try not to make any sudden movements or noises that might startle me.
Follow me on Twitter at @CN_ChrisP. May the force be with you.
cpinkard@blythevillecourier.com