I'd just like all of you to know how much mental anguish sometimes goes into putting this little bit of writing together every week, and how much I love you because I keep pushing myself to do it because what I really love is the interaction with people that it produces.
In case we haven't met ...Hi, I'm Shannon, and I procrastinate. Not on stupid little things that could be done any old time, but on things that are somewhere on the scale of importance and should be attended to -- like something that's part of my job, for example. Like biting my nails while I write this column.
Normally, the wildly swinging pendulum which is my life provides me with plenty of opportunities for entertainment and storytelling. I'm just one of those people to whom things tend to happen -- usually embarrassing things, but those are the best stories, right? It's either that or I'm just really good at over-dramatizing normal, every day life. Or both. Whatever.
Only recently, I've been confined to the house for about 80 percent of my time, what with the pregnancy-induced heart condition and all. And not having a reason to shower or put on real clothes for days on end can really dampen one's lively storytelling abilities.
Basically, what I just did is take four paragraphs to tell you that the only thing I have to talk about right now is being pregnant, and I'm sorry about that. But if you've ever been four weeks away from your due date and going absolutely out of your ever-loving mind (or lived with a woman who was), then maybe you'll understand. For the next little while, my world is considerably smaller than it normally would be.
To say that carrying a child for nine months is a life-changing experience is such a huge understatement, I don't even know how to describe it. But honestly, I'm not talking about all that sweet I'm-a-mommy-now emotional stuff. I'm just saying that your life changes, because you no longer own your own body. And that's weird.
In the back of my head resides a list of stuff that I'm itching to share with you about my pregnancy experience because it's really funny, but the embarrassment factor of having it appear in print is just too high -- even for me. Considering that I've told you about things like getting caught picking my nose, that should really tell you something.
I will say this -- for the most part, I think I have avoided being an insane, hormonal mess. No violent mood swings or angry fits or anything like that, and I've managed to still be pretty nice to everyone. But hormones are funny things, and they like to sneak up on you when you're least expecting to become weird.
One day last week, I found myself with some free time in the middle of the afternoon -- work was finished and no one was around. Non-pregnant Shannon would have read a book or gone for a run or maybe done some laundry. Pregnant Shannon chose to ignore all of those things, and instead found herself lying in bed, watching wedding shows on TLC.
And crying.
Because some poor girl who had a surgical scar was finally able to come to grips with it because the stylish consultant was able to find her the most perfect magical beautiful wedding dress.
And I guess that's just who I am now.
It's really time for someone to just come and put me out of my misery, is all I'm saying.
Four weeks and counting ...
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P.S. Speaking of things that I would never normally watch -- romantic comedies. Not my genre. However, I was sent an advance copy of the UP Network's new movie, "The Town that Came A-Courtin'," so that I could share my thoughts before it airs next weekend.
As most everyone probably already knows, the movie is based on a book that was based on author Ronda Rich's experiences right here in our little hometown. I'll keep it short and simple: The movie is cute and entertaining, but don't expect it to actually resemble Blytheville in any way. The setting is in a highly idealized version of a Southern small town, complete with the stereotypical gossiping women's "prayer chain." If you're looking to recognize our hometown, you won't. And since I wasn't directly involved in any of the events which inspired the story, I can't speak to whether or not the movie holds true to them.
But I will say this -- it was obvious that the author's experience here was one that she really enjoyed, and that's a great thing. The fictionalized version of our town and its people is a positive one, filled with quirky but caring and loveable characters, and it does a good job of representing the warmth and hospitality our citizens always provide to visitors, at least in my experience. The people are highly stereotyped, almost to Mayberry-esque proportions, but somehow it comes off quite nicely. It also makes the little town seem like a place where you'd like to live, and I find that to be true as well. The movie airs on the UP Network next Sunday night at 6 -- and I'd recommend watching it. It provides a few laughs and a nice, uplifting message.
sharris@blythevillecourier.com