"Being a parent is the hardest job in the world."
We've all heard this said before, but am I the only one a little irked by it? It always bothered me a little when people would say this before I was a parent, but now it really drives me crazy.
I know some of you are probably already working on your defense for why being a parent, and a mother in particular, is the hardest job in the world, but before you send me a nasty email or approach me about it in the grocery store with the intent of really letting me have it, let me explain why it's not the hardest job in the world.
While being a parent is difficult, there are a number of jobs that are harder and have higher mortality rates. I mean, let's be honest, how many people do you know who have died changing a diaper or putting in the latest Giggle Bellies DVD? Probably zero.
So yeah, it could be worse.
For example, deep sea tuna fisherman have the highest on-the-job mortality rate, according to a 2012 BuzzFeed story. But let's say you don't die. Instead you manage to make it through a freezing cold day out off the coast of Massachusetts where your entire livelihood is based on catching a fish that hundreds of other fisherman are also trying to catch.
I'll take parenting any day of the week over that.
Or what about logging? What guy didn't at least go through a small phase where he wanted to be Paul Bunyan? I thought Bunyan was so cool when I was a kid. The ax, the plaid shirt and the big blue ox all made the job seem so cool. Then you read that there was a reported 116 deaths per 100,000 loggers a few years ago.
Um, no thanks. I'll change another disgusting diaper.
But the real reason being a parent isn't the hardest job isn't because there are harder, more dangerous jobs out there. No, it's because being a parent isn't a job.
You likely didn't fill out an application to see if you were qualified to be a parent. You can't throw the diaper bag down, walk out the door and tell the foreman to mail you your last check. There's no human resources director to go to when you're having a problem with a fellow employee. And there's no one to ask for a raise when you feel like you've put in a lot of time and hard work -- there's no promotion in parenting.
It's not a job.
When I started here at the CN a few years ago I spent a significant amount of time learning my job. Certain things were done in certain ways and I had to learn how to do these things correctly. And that's how most jobs are. There's a right and wrong way to do things and eventually you learn everything there is to know about your job. You can get degrees or certificates and you can go into a job knowing what to do.
But parenting is different. There's no four-year degree for how to love your child. There's no handbook. And there shouldn't be. Parenting isn't about following the rules. It's not about doing everything the right way -- although we all want to. Parenting is about love. It's about that special connection you have with this knew life that you are responsible for (this goes for adoptive parents as well).
So I'm sorry, but parenting isn't a hard job. I don't care what Oprah or Dr. Phil have told you, it's not a hard job because it isn't a job at all. It's a relationship, a connection with another. Parenting is love.
For more you can follow me on Twitter at @CN_ChrisP. May the force be with you.
cpinkard@blythevillecourier.com