Saying the wrong thing can get you in the doghouse with your significant other on Valentine's Day.
Usually, it's us guys that are guilty of allowing our lips to produce those unwise words.
Don't fret. Just remember a few responses to avoid saying today:
-- Is the dress supposed to look like that?
-- Yeah, you have gained a little weight around the middle. You're not pregnant, are you?
-- There's a reason I didn't get you candy this year.
-- I'm glad you like the flowers, they were half off ... the vase was too.
-- Can't we go out some other night? The game is on. Of course I know what day it is: Thursday.
-- What's the big deal about Valentine's Day? It's just an opportunity for retailers to make a few bucks off the fantasy that love really exists.
-- You have me, what more could you want?
-- I guess I love you.
-- Oh, did you really want to go out? I thought you were joking.
-- I'm wearing this; there's nothing wrong with blue jeans and a t-shirt. It's not as if this is our first date.
-- Let's just grab a dollar sandwich from the drive-thru. ... Do you have a better suggestion?
-- My ex used to like that one too. Can she tag along? It'll be fun.
-- I can't see to eat. Flip the light on ... you can keep the candles burning if you want, I don't mind.
-- Do you have a hacksaw? This knife isn't working well at all. Where did you learn to cook? My mom can teach you, if you're willing to learn.
-- Did you decide not to put on makeup tonight? Bad call.
-- Anything but a chick flick. I can tell you the ending now: they eventually get together and live happily ever after.
-- Will you watch the kids while me and the guys go play ball? I'll be back in a couple of hours and we can do what you want to then.
-- Don't you think my golf game deserves attention too?
-- I would rank you in the top five on my priority list.
-- I miss being single.
-- Honey, I think we should see other people. Yes, I know it's Valentine's Day. Bad timing?
In all seriousness, we should tell her the dress is perfect, just like she is. We should let her know she is still beautiful to us and maybe cook her a romantic dinner at home, if she doesn't want to go out. If she does want to go to a nice restaurant, shell out a little extra for a nice meal.
We can always record the game and instead take her to one of those Nicholas Sparks movies that she has been wanting to see -- no matter how difficult it is to sit through. She's worth the sacrifice.
Put a little thought into the gift because she deserves it.
I know I'm lucky to have found my Valentine, who merits all that and more for putting up with me -- and my poor attempts at humor.
mbrasfield@blythevillecourier.com