It was a quiet drive during my family's road trip to Cabot and North Little Rock last weekend. With 11-year-old Katie and 9-year-old Drew buried in the "Harry Potter" books, and wife, Jena, buried in a book of her own, it was requested that we keep the radio turned down so they -- especially the kids -- "could concentrate."
I was more than happy to oblige. (No parent in his right mind is going to complain about his kids wanting to read.) But the downside is that the quiet of the car left me alone with my thoughts for several hours. And that's not necessarily a good thing, as my mind tends to wander to some odd places.
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I wonder how much money our local, state and federal governments have tied up in those "Bridge may freeze before roadway" signs. Driving across rural Arkansas, they are all over the place, with one before every river, creek or ditch you cross. There must be hundreds, if not thousands, in northeast Arkansas alone, let alone the rest of the country.
Are they really necessary? I mean, isn't it pretty much common knowledge that bridges tend to be the iciest part of the road, what with the lack of insulation below them and all? Is it really necessary for the government to spend gazillions of dollars to manufacture and maintain signs that basically state the obvious?
Because, you know, those heavy metal signs aren't cheap. Just think of all the college scholarships, or road repairs, or economic development incentives that could be paid for with that money.
For you tea partiers out there, on the hunt for wasteful government spending, here's something you ought to be looking at.
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Somewhere along the road Friday evening, I saw a truck that said, "FedEx Express."
Isn't that redundant?
I mean, the name of the company is still "Federal Express" to me. Sure, I know they shortened it to just "FedEx" a few years ago as part of some kind of new-fangled branding campaign. But just as "KFC" will always be "Kentucky Fried Chicken" and "SNL" will always be "Saturday Night Live," "FedEx" will always be "Federal Express."
So the truck I saw Friday basically said, "Federal Express Express." At least that's what it looked like to me.
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Saw a fair share of bathroom graffiti along the way. Lots of interesting spellings on everyday curse words that will not be repeated here. I'll never understand the fascination some folks have with writing or carving random expletives into the walls of public bathrooms. But if they're going to do it, I wish they'd at least learn to spell.
Of course, I'm also fascinated by one of the most common forms of bathroom graffiti, the "For a good time, call ..." messages. I've always wondered about them. It's just a joke, right? It's just a guy playing a mean trick on a guy or girl he knows, right?
Sometimes, just for kicks, I've thought about calling the numbers I've seen, just to see what would happen. I'd say, "Yes, I was calling about the good time ..." or "Hello, I saw your advertisement in Stall 3 of the Citgo on Highway 64 ..." I wonder what would happen.
That would probably be a mistake. There may be a whole subculture of weirdos out there using public bathrooms stalls as their chief mode of correspondence. Best not to consort with such folks.
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By the end of the weekend, the kids finished their "Harry Potter" books. I'm glad. I clearly need someone to talk to on long-distance car rides.
aweld@blythevillecourier.com