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Columns Archive
- Just like a star in the sky (9/9/16)
- Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right... (8/4/16)
- This is a dangerous soapbox... (7/22/16)
- It may be time to try exercise... (7/15/16)
- I'm his campaign manager now... (6/17/16)
- Sometimes you don't hear the bullet... (5/27/16)
- Because it's been too long... (5/20/16)
- Just check the wind direction first... (5/13/16)
- Because we're crazy enough to try... (5/6/16)
- Hang on while I get my soapbox... (4/22/16)
- My heart never stops beating for you... (4/15/16)
- This is going to be so, so good... (4/8/16)
- I'll bet she has some good stories... (3/24/16)
- Really trying to be okay with this... (2/11/16)
- A little birthday love letter... (2/6/16)
- Also I've given up sugar...again... (1/21/16)
- A few things I hope never happen to you...Holiday edition (1/8/16)
- Some slightly stronger than normal opinions... (12/18/15)
- There was never a tiara, though... (12/4/15)
- This is me having a girl power moment... (11/27/15)
- For this 12 hours, I blame El Nino (11/21/15)
- I think I'd be a nice caesar... (11/6/15)
- And now for an unexpected twist... (11/2/15)
- I need a graham cracker and a mechanic, stat... (10/10/15)
- I need a graham cracker and a mechanic, stat... (10/9/15)
- Here's a chance to do something real... (9/26/15)
- Personally I prefer Winnie-the-Pooh (9/18/15)
- Let's leap some tall buildings (8/29/15)
- Better go and get your armor... (8/14/15)
- Next time I'll dig up some worms... (7/25/15)
- Political middle ground disappearing (7/23/15)
- Her shadow's the only one... (7/17/15)
- Light a candle for me... (7/10/15)
- I'm not a big fan of Mickey Mouse, either... (7/2/15)
- I still have the unicorn (6/22/15)
- Saturday instructions for toddlers... (6/12/15)
- I also know how to be grateful... (6/8/15)
- I can't promise not to cry ... (5/30/15)
- The last train, the last straw ... (5/23/15)
- And now for a blatant PDA ... (5/16/15)
- I think Wilson Phillips would be proud ... (5/9/15)
- A whole lot of not very much ... (5/2/15)
- Now go make yourself some cookies ... (4/25/15)
- I'll bet Fitzgerald never tried to run ... (4/18/15)
- I'm saving up for groceries... (4/10/15)
- Well, that made me cry ... (4/4/15)
- The more you know, the less you sleep ... (3/28/15)
- Another list, because I like them ... (3/21/15)
- With no ado whatsoever, a list ... (3/14/15)
- No lyrics from "Frozen" were used ... (3/7/15)
- I don't guess there's any way to do both ... (2/28/15)
- A friend who could use a hug ... (2/23/15)
- Right over the fireplace ... (2/7/15)
- But you can always trust a Samantha ... (1/31/15)
- None of the furniture is safe ... (1/24/15)
- I squish spiders now, too ... (1/17/15)
- Diaper change on aisle two ... (1/10/15)
- When sorrows like sea billows roll ... (1/3/15)
- It's a small world after all ... (12/27/14)
- This is all very scientific ... (12/20/14)
- The chocolate is very important ... (12/13/14)
- I'm also pretty sure Lois Lane isn't real ... (12/6/14)
- Be brave, and practice your balance ... (11/28/14)
- From the digestive department ... (11/22/14)
- Could someone else hold all this for me ... (11/8/14)
- Let's all pause while I wave my flag ... (11/1/14)
- Five more minutes, please ... (10/25/14)
- On public tragedy and the beauty of bacon ... (10/18/14)
- And you can't make me ... (10/11/14)
- I think she may have eaten some ... (10/4/14)
- The cookies were so not worth it ... (9/27/14)
- To the diaper bag, on the double ... (9/20/14)
- I can't be blamed for the ice cream... (9/13/14)
- Yes, I really am that person now ... (9/6/14)
- Now taking applications ... (8/30/14)
- I mean, really, who cares? (8/23/14)
- Time to take a deep breath ... (8/16/14)
- I might as well add in a donut ... (8/11/14)
- Hunka, hunka burnin' peanut butter and chocolate ... (8/2/14)
- You're killing me, Smalls ... (7/19/14)
- I wonder what color that makes the noise ... (7/12/14)
- Out riding fences for so long now ... (6/29/14)
- We interrupt this program ... (6/22/14)
- This is a pretty blatant mommy story... (6/15/14)
- Bippity, boppity, boo ... (6/11/14)
- I'll try to be quiet (6/1/14)
- But at least there were pretzels ... (5/25/14)
- The red ones are my favorite... (5/18/14)
- And now I know... (5/11/14)
- Come on ... it'll be fun ... (5/2/14)
- May your light break forth and your rightness go before you ... (4/28/14)
- I still don't wash the dishes ... (4/20/14)
- I think her first stop will be Zimbabwe... (4/13/14)
- It's sort of a pregnancy opus ... (1/26/14)
- At least I had nothing to do with it ... (1/19/14)
- Just some thoughts and such ... (1/12/14)
- And they didn't even tell me their names ... (1/5/14)
- Yo, Adrian ... pass me that inhaler ... (12/15/13)
- Pardon me while I get personal ... (12/8/13)
- Maybe I'll wear one of those furry hats, too ... (12/1/13)
- And you'd better not ask me to smile pretty ... (11/24/13)
- Now I need another tissue ... (11/17/13)
- I pulled, and I even used my bootstraps ... (11/10/13)
- And you haven't seen the last of me, either ... (11/3/13)
- Like sharks and algebra, for example ... (10/28/13)
- Hey, at least the roof is still on... (10/20/13)
- Sugar and spice and everything ... well, you know the rest ... (10/13/13)
- I'm going to need to get a bigger soapbox ... (10/6/13)
- So basically, I'll be prepared for my dotage ... (9/29/13)
- What I meant to say was ... something else (9/22/13)
- But I promise I'm not usually grumpy ... (9/16/13)
- I should have let her stick with the hazelnut ... (9/8/13)
- The sunsets will wear purple, too ... (9/4/13)
- Don't worry, I finished the nap at home... (8/25/13)
- And I still don't much care for cherries ... (8/18/13)
- I couldn't even begin to tell you why ... (8/11/13)
- The greasy, sneaky, spiral of loathing and shame ... (8/4/13)
- This should be a surprise either way ... (7/21/13)
- It's random observation day again ... (6/30/13)
- And we have more than we'll ever need ... (6/23/13)
- And now for a whole lot of complaining ... (6/16/13)
- I also love the rain ... (6/9/13)
- The place where the beauty comes from ... (6/2/13)
- I wouldn't have sold her anyway ... (5/26/13)
- Also, the rain stays mainly on the plains ... (5/19/13)
- The squirrels are cooler anyway ... (5/12/13)
- Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky ... (5/5/13)
- I'm also pretty sure Lois Lane isn't real... (4/28/13)
- Maybe she'll run a marathon with me one day ... (4/21/13)
- Bells to be rung and spring to be sprung ... (4/14/13)
- We could call it "King of the Aisles" ... (4/7/13)
- I may have knocked some people down ... (3/31/13)
- If only the dog could have cushioned my fall ... (3/17/13)
- Indian folk tunes in the bathroom can be soothing ... (3/10/13)
- Oh, and I'm taking my cowboy boots ... (2/17/13)
- And I didn't feel like Marilyn at all ... (2/10/13)
- I even heard violin music in my head ... (2/3/13)
- Maybe I can go without shampoo ... (1/27/13)
- The sunrise is really so overrated ... (1/20/13)
- But we smell like a spring meadow ... (1/13/13)
- Light without and light within ... (1/6/13)
- The Smurfs couldn't protect me either ... (12/30/12)
- But I wouldn't try sledding if I were you ... (12/23/12)
- Her name was Martoiya ... (12/14/12)
- It must be really cool to be French ... (12/9/12)
- Now what am I supposed to do with all this ... (12/2/12)
- They would also be allowed to step on my toes... (11/25/12)
- You can call me Maynard if you want ... (11/18/12)
- And the sun will keep on rising ... (11/11/12)
- But I do know a lot about Shakespeare ... (10/28/12)
- You can also learn how to make a paper gun... (10/21/12)
- All I want in life is maid service ... (10/14/12)
- And flowers are always a good idea ... (10/7/12)
- I am totally skipping dinner tonight ... (9/30/12)
- Being a face in the crowd has its ups and downs (9/23/12)
- A few things I hope never happen to you ... (9/16/12)
- And my bike would be called "The Destroyer" ... (9/9/12)
- Stop, collaborate and listen ... (9/2/12)
- Instructions on catching a cold ... (8/26/12)
- Mainly I would miss red velvet ... (8/19/12)
- You can send flowers to their moms if you want ... (8/5/12)
- I think they make a pill for that ... (7/22/12)
- And she lived happily ever after ... (7/15/12)
- I will never squish an ant again ... (7/8/12)
- At least he wasn't into the hard stuff ... (6/24/12)
- I'll take mine well done, with a little umbrella... (6/16/12)
- And her signature color was blue ... (6/10/12)
- I'd also love to make my own jam ... (6/3/12)
- The Night Walmart Killed My Soul (5/27/12)
- And don't even get me started on bird poop ... (5/20/12)
- The title shall remain a mystery ... (5/13/12)
- My favorite flavor was strawberry, by the way ... (5/6/12)
- It's a good thing I know how to shoot... (4/28/12)
- The dogs are also on medication ... (4/22/12)
- I'm really a Cap'n Crunch kind of girl... (4/15/12)
- This is me doing a love song ... (4/8/12)
- Maybe if it were purple ... (4/1/12)
- Can I get an Amen? (3/25/12)
- We're thinking of putting his name on the mailbox... (3/18/12)
- May your life be coated in sprinkles (if you like that kind of thing) (3/11/12)
- Don't look like a mountain troll (3/4/12)
- And she carries a mean set of nunchucks ... (2/26/12)
- I should be able to outrun a three-legged dog ... (2/19/12)
- Who needs Romeo and Juliet? (2/12/12)
- My, what a lovely fake sheep ... (2/5/12)
- There's no place like home ... (1/29/12)
- And another dream bites the dust ... (1/22/12)
- And make them chocolate chip... (1/14/12)
- For a few days, I was a real adult ... (1/8/12)
- And the water was too cold to jump in for cover ... (1/2/12)
- And don't stick your tongue to a frozen flag pole ... (12/25/11)
- For your enjoyment, some pointless observations ... (12/11/11)
- And I didn't even open the trunk ... (12/4/11)
- You might want to wear an apron ... (11/27/11)
- A little Sunday reader's theater ... (11/20/11)
- I'll bet they even have a tiny little disco ball ... (11/13/11)
- On mud-soaked and brain-dead teenage decisions ... (11/6/11)
- Stop the holidays, I wanna get off! (10/30/11)
- Isn't there a reality show about that? (10/23/11)
- And I'll be your best friend forever ... (10/16/11)
- Music City Raw (10/9/11)
- A public service announcement, re: public bathrooms (10/2/11)
- I'm not dead yet ... (9/25/11)
- I wish I made this look good ... (9/18/11)
- Can I bill al-Qaida for all this shampoo? (9/11/11)
- And it was all so I could have a clawfoot tub ... (9/4/11)
- Lots of stuff no one cares about (8/28/11)
- Just smile and wave, boys (8/21/11)
- A few confessions for a Wednesday (7/6/11)
- His name isn't George (6/6/11)
- You had to be there (5/30/11)
- And a Corncob in a Recliner (5/23/11)
- Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson (5/16/11)
- Stop the hype machine (5/9/11)
- Musings on Cars and ... well, you'll see ... (5/2/11)
- Somebody pass the valium (4/25/11)
- This Is Your Brain on Vacation (4/18/11)